Gabrielle Lynn
July 11 arrived – my due date. I was prepared to go over because I did with my first, and I was okay with that (or at least I thought I was). I was feeling pretty decent, and then all of the sudden, I wasn’t. Around lunchtime, I got a big headache and started feeling really out of it. What was this? I was communicating with our doula, Bethany, trying to figure out if it meant anything. I assumed not, but it was my due date, so I was of course on the lookout for signs of labor. I got a lot of rest and felt much better by the evening.
On July 12, I noticed that I was having more contractions. I had been having Braxton-Hicks for about a week at that point and knew these still weren’t anything real, but I was having several every hour round the clock.
On July 13, more contractions. Still nothing that required concentration, but I started to notice pressure associated with them by afternoon. I texted Bethany to let her know that I was having lots of contractions and feeling pressure, but that the contractions still didn’t seem to be going anywhere.
By suppertime, the contractions were definitely noticeable. I was still assuming that they weren’t the real thing. Mike went off to volleyball at 6:00, and we were supposed to meet afterwards to look at a house. At 6:30 I texted Bethany to let her know that I had been discharging a lot of mucus with a little red… I didn’t remember what bloody show looked like – could this be it? She responded right away to tell me that she knew it was me the second she heard the notification and that she believed I was in labor. She called and I was still not quite sure. She suggested I time a few contractions and call her back, so there I was, trying to read to our daughter, time contractions, and figure out next steps. Sure enough, contractions still weren’t incredibly consistent, but they were all less than 5 minutes apart. At this point, I kind of lost it. Despite being a couple days past my due date, I was apparently not ready to have a baby. I called Mike to get him to come home and called my parents to get Sydney. My parents arrived first, and I was still trying to get the last few things packed. I called the hospital to let them know I was coming in, and they told me that Dr. Lipinski was on call (me: “SCORE!” She delivered Sydney and I was hoping we would get her this time too) and that it was really busy in L&D. In fact, they had difficulty finding a nurse to talk to me in the first place. She asked me to tell her about it, and I wasn’t sure what to tell other than I was in labor. She asked what I had done (take a bath, etc.), and I said that I had eaten and was fairly certain that I had been in labor for most of the afternoon but had been in denial. I explained that I had tested positive for Group B Strep and wanted to get to the hospital to get my two doses of penicillin. She seemed slightly skeptical but agreed that I could come in. Mike arrived at home shortly after, packed up his things, and we were off. We called Bethany to have her meet us at the hospital; we arrived around 7:20. I was incredibly concerned that I wasn’t actually in labor and they would send me home. Sure enough, by the time they got me hooked up in triage, it seemed like my contractions had slowed to almost nothing. The nurse checked me and I was at 4 cm. 10-15 minutes later, I was pretty sure I had only had two contractions while on the monitor and was convinced we were going home, which is about when Bethany showed up. A different nurse came in and said that Dr. Lipinski was in a c-section but knew we were here and wanted us to walk for an hour and then be checked for progress. I did *not* want to walk the halls for an hour in a gown, so I changed back into my clothes and we went outside. We couldn’t find anyone to tell and I have to admit, I was a little nervous about leaving without checking in with somebody (what can I say? I never was a “rule-breaker”). We walked around the hospital and I still wasn’t sure about being in labor. I didn’t want to be in the hospital, I didn’t want to labor overnight – I was not happy with my situation. The hour was almost up and we were getting ready to head back up when a nurse came down and said they had been looking for me. I had been officially admitted and Dr. Lipinski knew I wanted to get my GBS antibiotics started, but there had been a miscommunication, and then they weren’t able to find us. I was in my room by 9:20 after a brief chat in the hall with Dr. Lipinski. The nurse we had seen initially in triage came in to start my IV, but I was on saline only for a while – there were some issues with getting the penicillin. A different nurse, Stephanie, came in and went through the official admission process, which was apparently what the pharmacy needed to release the penicillin. She complimented me on how I was handling contractions, which still weren’t particularly bad. She asked if I had plans for an epidural, and when I responded that I didn’t, she said I was breathing like someone who wasn’t planning on one. Penicillin was started around 10:00, and I laid down to rest for the hour it took to be administered. Afterwards we walked the halls for a while, which I thought was awkward – we kept passing another girl in labor, but what do you say in that situation? After a few laps, we went back to the room. I sat on the birthing ball for a while and labored in the tub for a bit. I was down – contractions *still* didn’t seem to be progressing much. I was convinced that I was going to be in labor the entire night, and I was just tired and wanted to go to bed. And frankly, while these contractions weren’t particularly pleasant, I knew they were going to get much worse and was afraid of the pain. I got out of the tub and we started walking laps again sometime after midnight. I was somewhat relieved that we had made it to July 14 because I didn’t want a birthday on the 13th (although I don’t consider myself to be a particularly superstitious person… I can’t really explain it). While walking, contractions *finally* started picking up in intensity and closeness. I was stopping and swaying with each one while Mike rubbed my shoulders and Bethany reminded me to stay relaxed. (As a side note, Stephanie later told me that Dr. Lipinski had started to wonder if I was actually in labor when I was still walking around the halls in the wee hours of the morning.) We went back to the room and I sat on the birthing ball, and contractions started to get hard. Bethany asked a couple of times if I felt like pushing and I kept responding, “no, I don’t think so…” I knew I wasn’t anywhere close to an overwhelming urge, much as I would’ve liked to be done. Eventually I moved to the bed. We raised the back and I leaned over the raised part, swaying back and forth and up and down. I heard my (new) nurses whispering about getting Dr. Lipinski and I was thinking, “Please get her. Make me believe that you think I’m getting to the end.” At some point Dr. Lipinski came in. She checked and I was between 8-9 cm. I screamed partway through a contraction that I wasn’t prepared for, but I was trying so, so hard to keep my vocalizations low.
It was kind of a surreal situation. I was on the bed, just trying not to die, and I could see Dr. Lipinski (who knew I wanted as little interference as possible) and the nurses chilling 5 feet away, waiting for something to happen.
My water still hadn’t broken, and I was convinced that every liquid – bloody show, urine – that came out of my body must be it. Finally I gasped that I was pushing, although I honestly couldn’t even swear that I was. Just like last labor, I felt like I had zero control over my body. During the next contraction (I think?), I lost it. I was screaming, screaming that I couldn’t do it, screaming because I couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. I guess my water broke and the head was out almost instantaneously. Dr. Lipinski asked me to stop pushing (the cord was wrapped around the neck twice); I tried, but only lasted for half a second before the rest of the body followed (me: “Sorry! Sorry!”). Dr. Lipinski passed the baby through my legs and I was able to turn around and sit down. It was a girl! And I had made it, again, through more pain than can possibly be handled, and emerged again on the other side.
I was able to cuddle with my daughter while the cord continued to pulsate. She latched right away. Dr. Lipinski said that I didn’t tear. Eventually Mike was able to cut the cord and the placenta came out a little later. I didn’t need Pitocin.
As I write this, Gabrielle is sleeping peacefully on my chest. The house is quiet – Sydney and Mike are napping too – and I am so grateful to be here. Until now, I wasn’t really sure what to make of my birth experience. I was so down through so much of it, and I was scared this time, unlike the blissful ignorance of my first. But I am realizing that my story, while different than my first, is still triumphant. I knew I could do it, and I did, with my body and my amazing support team pushing me to the finish.
Gabrielle Lynn
July 14, 2015
7 pounds, 13.6 ounces
20 inches long
On July 12, I noticed that I was having more contractions. I had been having Braxton-Hicks for about a week at that point and knew these still weren’t anything real, but I was having several every hour round the clock.
On July 13, more contractions. Still nothing that required concentration, but I started to notice pressure associated with them by afternoon. I texted Bethany to let her know that I was having lots of contractions and feeling pressure, but that the contractions still didn’t seem to be going anywhere.
By suppertime, the contractions were definitely noticeable. I was still assuming that they weren’t the real thing. Mike went off to volleyball at 6:00, and we were supposed to meet afterwards to look at a house. At 6:30 I texted Bethany to let her know that I had been discharging a lot of mucus with a little red… I didn’t remember what bloody show looked like – could this be it? She responded right away to tell me that she knew it was me the second she heard the notification and that she believed I was in labor. She called and I was still not quite sure. She suggested I time a few contractions and call her back, so there I was, trying to read to our daughter, time contractions, and figure out next steps. Sure enough, contractions still weren’t incredibly consistent, but they were all less than 5 minutes apart. At this point, I kind of lost it. Despite being a couple days past my due date, I was apparently not ready to have a baby. I called Mike to get him to come home and called my parents to get Sydney. My parents arrived first, and I was still trying to get the last few things packed. I called the hospital to let them know I was coming in, and they told me that Dr. Lipinski was on call (me: “SCORE!” She delivered Sydney and I was hoping we would get her this time too) and that it was really busy in L&D. In fact, they had difficulty finding a nurse to talk to me in the first place. She asked me to tell her about it, and I wasn’t sure what to tell other than I was in labor. She asked what I had done (take a bath, etc.), and I said that I had eaten and was fairly certain that I had been in labor for most of the afternoon but had been in denial. I explained that I had tested positive for Group B Strep and wanted to get to the hospital to get my two doses of penicillin. She seemed slightly skeptical but agreed that I could come in. Mike arrived at home shortly after, packed up his things, and we were off. We called Bethany to have her meet us at the hospital; we arrived around 7:20. I was incredibly concerned that I wasn’t actually in labor and they would send me home. Sure enough, by the time they got me hooked up in triage, it seemed like my contractions had slowed to almost nothing. The nurse checked me and I was at 4 cm. 10-15 minutes later, I was pretty sure I had only had two contractions while on the monitor and was convinced we were going home, which is about when Bethany showed up. A different nurse came in and said that Dr. Lipinski was in a c-section but knew we were here and wanted us to walk for an hour and then be checked for progress. I did *not* want to walk the halls for an hour in a gown, so I changed back into my clothes and we went outside. We couldn’t find anyone to tell and I have to admit, I was a little nervous about leaving without checking in with somebody (what can I say? I never was a “rule-breaker”). We walked around the hospital and I still wasn’t sure about being in labor. I didn’t want to be in the hospital, I didn’t want to labor overnight – I was not happy with my situation. The hour was almost up and we were getting ready to head back up when a nurse came down and said they had been looking for me. I had been officially admitted and Dr. Lipinski knew I wanted to get my GBS antibiotics started, but there had been a miscommunication, and then they weren’t able to find us. I was in my room by 9:20 after a brief chat in the hall with Dr. Lipinski. The nurse we had seen initially in triage came in to start my IV, but I was on saline only for a while – there were some issues with getting the penicillin. A different nurse, Stephanie, came in and went through the official admission process, which was apparently what the pharmacy needed to release the penicillin. She complimented me on how I was handling contractions, which still weren’t particularly bad. She asked if I had plans for an epidural, and when I responded that I didn’t, she said I was breathing like someone who wasn’t planning on one. Penicillin was started around 10:00, and I laid down to rest for the hour it took to be administered. Afterwards we walked the halls for a while, which I thought was awkward – we kept passing another girl in labor, but what do you say in that situation? After a few laps, we went back to the room. I sat on the birthing ball for a while and labored in the tub for a bit. I was down – contractions *still* didn’t seem to be progressing much. I was convinced that I was going to be in labor the entire night, and I was just tired and wanted to go to bed. And frankly, while these contractions weren’t particularly pleasant, I knew they were going to get much worse and was afraid of the pain. I got out of the tub and we started walking laps again sometime after midnight. I was somewhat relieved that we had made it to July 14 because I didn’t want a birthday on the 13th (although I don’t consider myself to be a particularly superstitious person… I can’t really explain it). While walking, contractions *finally* started picking up in intensity and closeness. I was stopping and swaying with each one while Mike rubbed my shoulders and Bethany reminded me to stay relaxed. (As a side note, Stephanie later told me that Dr. Lipinski had started to wonder if I was actually in labor when I was still walking around the halls in the wee hours of the morning.) We went back to the room and I sat on the birthing ball, and contractions started to get hard. Bethany asked a couple of times if I felt like pushing and I kept responding, “no, I don’t think so…” I knew I wasn’t anywhere close to an overwhelming urge, much as I would’ve liked to be done. Eventually I moved to the bed. We raised the back and I leaned over the raised part, swaying back and forth and up and down. I heard my (new) nurses whispering about getting Dr. Lipinski and I was thinking, “Please get her. Make me believe that you think I’m getting to the end.” At some point Dr. Lipinski came in. She checked and I was between 8-9 cm. I screamed partway through a contraction that I wasn’t prepared for, but I was trying so, so hard to keep my vocalizations low.
It was kind of a surreal situation. I was on the bed, just trying not to die, and I could see Dr. Lipinski (who knew I wanted as little interference as possible) and the nurses chilling 5 feet away, waiting for something to happen.
My water still hadn’t broken, and I was convinced that every liquid – bloody show, urine – that came out of my body must be it. Finally I gasped that I was pushing, although I honestly couldn’t even swear that I was. Just like last labor, I felt like I had zero control over my body. During the next contraction (I think?), I lost it. I was screaming, screaming that I couldn’t do it, screaming because I couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. I guess my water broke and the head was out almost instantaneously. Dr. Lipinski asked me to stop pushing (the cord was wrapped around the neck twice); I tried, but only lasted for half a second before the rest of the body followed (me: “Sorry! Sorry!”). Dr. Lipinski passed the baby through my legs and I was able to turn around and sit down. It was a girl! And I had made it, again, through more pain than can possibly be handled, and emerged again on the other side.
I was able to cuddle with my daughter while the cord continued to pulsate. She latched right away. Dr. Lipinski said that I didn’t tear. Eventually Mike was able to cut the cord and the placenta came out a little later. I didn’t need Pitocin.
As I write this, Gabrielle is sleeping peacefully on my chest. The house is quiet – Sydney and Mike are napping too – and I am so grateful to be here. Until now, I wasn’t really sure what to make of my birth experience. I was so down through so much of it, and I was scared this time, unlike the blissful ignorance of my first. But I am realizing that my story, while different than my first, is still triumphant. I knew I could do it, and I did, with my body and my amazing support team pushing me to the finish.
Gabrielle Lynn
July 14, 2015
7 pounds, 13.6 ounces
20 inches long
